I was on twitter yesterday morning, and tweeted,
Does anyone else flip between ‘I can conquer the world’ and ‘world please leave me alone I can’t deal’? Ah, the vicissitudes of life…
It was a kind of absent minded tweet (as are most of my tweets) just chattering about how I was feeling about trying to juggle a few life issues. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I’m unattractively insecure and firmly believe I am unique in my various neuroses. While that will likely still be the chatter of my subconscious for some time to come, I received huge affirmation that I am in fact, not the only one that feels like this.
Following the tweet, people I see as successful and confident and together tweeted,
Yes, yes, yes!
Wow! So it’s not me being weak, or weird or…whatever! I’m normal…whatever that means!
Whatever your thoughts on the word normal, there really is comfort in knowing that in some respects, you’re just like everybody else.
The problem we have as humans, is that we compare our insides with other peoples outsides. Other people look like they have it all figured out and it makes your self doubt and stumbles seem even more…pedestrian! Nowhere is this more dichotomy more apparent than on social media.
On your average instagram account, you will see pictures of parties. Of flawless fashion and stunning selfies. You’ll see all the best bits. The home cooked dinners, the smart freshly dressed kids, the perfect pets. You will see all the wins, without all of the stumbles that are just part of life. If you look at my instagram page you’ll see much the same. If I lived my instagram account, I would be partying, well dressed, beautifully made up and constantly together. The fact is these are the wins, and of course we should celebrate these. For someone such as myself with disability and chronic illness to contend with, it’s great to look at these pics. To know I have good days and good times, and they are what make my life shine. A thousand other little things keep my like running day to day. They keep me safe and warm and loved. We all have these things, irregardless of disability. And the bad bits? We deal with them and get on with our lives. We cope with them as best we can. We carry on.
What I want you to take from this is just what I did. Next time you’re having a bad day or feeling insecure, remember that lots of other people are too. It doesn’t make it better but it does mean you’re in good company. Don’t compare your insides with others outsides, there are so many things you don’t know, and don’t need to know. You just need to remember that who you are is okay. That it’s okay to be vulnerable, it’s okay to care for yourself and take the time you need when you need it. It doesn’t make you weak, or weird, or…whatever. It makes you normal. It makes you human.
What is your best self care advice?